Lately I don’t know what I’m doing right now. Been doing just fine at college but at the same time I don’t. I can already see myself graduating but I still don’t know what to do. You get what I’m saying here? I won’t be talking about anime but rather I want to do something different for once. I’m talking about the long-term.
If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been in a slump after publishing one first impressions post for this season. I won’t be going back to episode reviews because it takes a lot of time from me. I’m now going back to drawing once again yet I’m not sure if anyone would get a commission from me. Note: I have no experience with it at all. Sure enough I do have the things needed but here in the internet if you don’t have a big following then you would only get little exposure. In the case of my blog, I’ve been doing the same things over and over again to the point I’m now getting sick of it. I think this is what you call being blocked by a wall?
I’m sure some of you been through this before despite me having less experience. All in all, it’s conflicting. I still watch anime and play some games to keep my creativity going, but there’s the other side that’s telling me to not take the risk. Why? I’ll repeat: the pressure. The pressure when I made a fanart I was proud of but it had little feedback. The pressure that my own school encourages original works despite most of my works are fanart. The pressure of what people would say even if the work wasn’t made to harm anyone. You want to know what’s worse? Not getting enough advice for guidance.
This post too is losing track of where it’s going. No one is encouraging me. I’ll admit I cannot do everything alone. I’ve been cooped up for so long I have no idea what’s happening around me. It’s been affecting me psychologically but no one would bother looking at the surface level.
When I do get back on track one day would you see a weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly updates to see my works? I want to create when I’m in the right mood. Timing is also factor in creativity but when money is involved, that’s another story. Still, it goes back to the same question.
I wanted to ask you this: Would you still want to see content from me? Even if I can make my own spin on something (whether it’s fanart, OCs, or even blog posts) there’s always people out there who would make it better. I see it almost everywhere. I don’t want to drag someone in this post because I want to make a point here. I’ve been here for a year and a half now but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to choose which one to pursue. And I’m afraid if what I’m doing will be all for nothing. As much as I want to create, I’m losing sight why I’m doing this.