My Current State

Lately I don’t know what I’m doing right now. Been doing just fine at college but at the same time I don’t. I can already see myself graduating but I still don’t know what to do. You get what I’m saying here? I won’t be talking about anime but rather I want to do something different for once. I’m talking about the long-term.

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been in a slump after publishing one first impressions post for this season. I won’t be going back to episode reviews because it takes a lot of time from me. I’m now going back to drawing once again yet I’m not sure if anyone would get a commission from me. Note: I have no experience with it at all. Sure enough I do have the things needed but here in the internet if you don’t have a big following then you would only get little exposure. In the case of my blog, I’ve been doing the same things over and over again to the point I’m now getting sick of it. I think this is what you call being blocked by a wall?

I’m sure some of you been through this before despite me having less experience. All in all, it’s conflicting. I still watch anime and play some games to keep my creativity going, but there’s the other side that’s telling me to not take the risk. Why? I’ll repeat: the pressure. The pressure when I made a fanart I was proud of but it had little feedback. The pressure that my own school encourages original works despite most of my works are fanart. The pressure of what people would say even if the work wasn’t made to harm anyone. You want to know what’s worse? Not getting enough advice for guidance.

This post too is losing track of where it’s going. No one is encouraging me. I’ll admit I cannot do everything alone. I’ve been cooped up for so long I have no idea what’s happening around me. It’s been affecting me psychologically but no one would bother looking at the surface level.

When I do get back on track one day would you see a weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly updates to see my works? I want to create when I’m in the right mood. Timing is also factor in creativity but when money is involved, that’s another story. Still, it goes back to the same question.

I wanted to ask you this: Would you still want to see content from me? Even if I can make my own spin on something (whether it’s fanart, OCs, or even blog posts) there’s always people out there who would make it better. I see it almost everywhere. I don’t want to drag someone in this post because I want to make a point here. I’ve been here for a year and a half now but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to choose which one to pursue. And I’m afraid if what I’m doing will be all for nothing. As much as I want to create, I’m losing sight why I’m doing this.

11 thoughts on “My Current State”

  1. For commissions, I can’t say. I’ve tweeted to someone, with you in mind to see if they can give at least some tips on how to go about it.

    Right, to the crux of this post

    For fan art, go for it. Doesn’t matter what others say, it’s what you -the critic- says and decides. Post up your art without impunity. I’ll do my best to support it. Make in roads with other artists that are also doing commissions. That’s the best way I guess?.

    As for the blog. Yeah it is quite common to hit a brick wall at times. I know the feeling of being jaded, doing the same thing over and over again – couple this with consistently low stats, I was miserable. To counter it, I strongly suggest writing different types of post, see what you have fun writing up, play around with the format as well. For example, I have fun doing my The Secluded Observe bi-monthly posts. I feel like a journalist xDD. Introduce secondary topics. Your main posts are on anime, look around what other bloggers are doing on their blogs. It’s okay to take inspiration from them, just don’t rip things off.

    For episode reviews, either don’t do them or find ways to make them convenient for you to write them up ie, bi or even tri weekly where the episodes are written fairly short.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for the insight Mallow. I really needed the motivation. It has been a rough time for me and I need some way to get through things. It has been tried and tested that there are things that cannot be taught in school.

      I’m looking forward to seeing what advice the person you referred to will give about commissions. I want to know something more than just the basics. Also I like how you see my art as my own rather than just created to promote something else. My school promotes being yourself but they like to put some barriers. And I hate that. Fanart is another form of art than making OCs.

      About the blog, I’ll take note. Having new stuff can make things fresh and hopefully change for the better. Maybe I might talk something different too. This is just the start. I can do this.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Not just that person rand. Just type in Google anime fan art twitter and start making in roads. The more info the better as you potentially start a new journey. I know it can be daunting, you can do it though!!.

        Same with the blog, you can do it!!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. To answer your question, Yes. I would love to still see content from you be it fanarts or blog posts or something entirely different. I find all your posts enjoyable to read and very insightful. Your posts are the kind that can brighten up a gloomy day easily no matter how lengthy or short they are. They have a bright atmosphere to them that kinda just drags a person in. Your posts are always ones to look forward to ๐Ÿ™‚

    I agree with Mallow’s words of advice. I think variety is really important when it comes to blogging. I haven’t been blogging as much as the majority of AniBloggers but I find myself getting bored of writing about anime day in day out. I find my blog to look monotaeneous and ‘unnecessary’ if I only address one topic so when I do decide to post something other than anime, it feels like my blog receives ‘color’ or a little more meaning which I do by posting on Webtoons/Manhwa or something completely different from the norm. It makes me feel my blog has a purpose now that even I myself am proud of it instead of ‘bored’ of its presence. It’s hard to explain logically but I hoped I helped in at least the slightest sense.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I feel flattered for once. Comments like this is what keeps me going.

      I never knew that my writing would actually be enjoyed by someone out there. In case if you didn’t know, I was actually part of a creative writing club back in high school and one of my works was shit back then. Everyone continuously gave me negative feedback and I simply absorbed it all. I did get better but no one bothered to take a look at my own work until the end of my high school days. But I know people in real life who have a different level of writing compared to me since I’m in college now.

      Actually, I like how you see Mallow’s idea as adding color. Your insight was helpful too (even if it was similar) because I can learn through this. Might be considering talking about the games I play one day. Though it could change the face of the blog. You could also do the same as well since you too are getting bored it.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m sure alot of your readers feel the exact same way I do about your writing. It’s easy to get attached to it and I honestly don’t see how anyone could hate it. The fact you got negative feedback for your writing shocks me quite a bit.

        Writing episodic reviews on a weekly can sorta become a bore. It surprises me how bloggers like Karandi and Lynn can keep up with so many shows at once and not feel burnt out/bored (Gosh, they are so admirable). To combat that bored feeling of writing episodic reviews weekly, I plan on focusing more on Webtoons & yuri manhwas in hopes that I won’t die of boredom. Basically, I’m also attempting to put Mallow’s idea into action as you also suggested haha. We all learn from one another don’t we?

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Have you searched for people doing similar things to what youโ€™re thinking of doing. It could be beneficial to you to for ideas and motivation. I have a group of author friends that I find helpful and similarly a couple of blogging friends. We mostly chat it private message groups like Facebook or Discord, but itโ€™s very helpful having people to be able to bounce ideas off. Everyone ends up motivating each other and I think it helps everyone move forward with what theyโ€™re trying to do.

    With commissions, I think youโ€™ll need to produce content and put it out there for all to see. The more you make and showcase the more likely others are to see it. It may seem like your doing a lot of stuff for free but think of it as developing a portfolio which you can use to advertise and promote your work.

    There will be people that will be interested in the process too, so you can write posts on the development of fan-fiction and artwork. Show works in progress or even time lapse videos. Also, try to do some work on current and popular shows. Theyโ€™re the ones that will bring in the Google traffic, but you can vary it too. Lots of older shows still get lots of traffic.

    If you ever want to just bounce ideas around let me know. Iโ€™d be happy to be a sounding board.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I haven’t thought of that yet. Based on my number of followers it’s practically the same people I see here on WordPress. I might be ripping off their style even if it wasn’t my intention. I actually just looked up into BlameSaiki’s blog and their ideas are possible. I still need to find more ideas for the blog. I could start from there.

      For commissions, your suggestion is technically how I actually draw my own fanart with the difference of not having a client. I update it at my Twitter and showcase the finished one at my Pixiv but I see that when I post the progress in Twitter there’s little feedback. More people are more likely to react at my finished works. And the timing of the post too. (Seriously, timing is a bitch.) But I’ll still do this because that’s how I always do. I even love how you’re also encouraging fanart too just like Mallow because he too thinks it’s another way to show off a person’s own content.

      The double-edged part, however, is being noticed by people who will troll or even bash the person online because of making their own content. I see it in the Pokemon community and for anime, it depends on which show I’m keeping up with but I still can’t avoid it nonetheless.

      If I do have the time, I can pitch in some ideas for you too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The negative side of it is an unfortunate aspect of the way social media has conditioned people to react to things.
        Itโ€™s tough, but try to remember that no one is immune to it. Even the classics in all mediums will have their haters.

        I look forward to seeing where you take things.


  4. I recently had hit a wall too in terms of blogging too. It’s a pain. I totally understand what you are feeling right now. I was able to recover-ish..but I know I won’t be able to do what I usually do before.
    Take your time. You don’t have to push yourself to write something unsatisfying. Write when you want to write. Make entries that you want to share.
    Yeah, maybe there are other people better than you, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to share your creativity too.

    For the fanart, pursue it. Do what you love. I had seen some of your work on Twitter and I personally like them. I would love to see more of them, either here on your blog or on your social media accounts.

    When it comes to commission, that’s a good idea. You should also post more of your works so that they would know what you’re capable of.

    Btw, if ever you need someone to talk to about stuff, you can talk to me. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s