This year has been rough. I endured a lot of things along the way and sure did made some questionable decisions. For an event where bloggers talk about anime for 12 days I want to take this chance to reflect. Think of it as how Violet Evergarden does her job.
With the decade coming to a close, so much has happened. I’m sure you did too. I never had enough time for the blog because of me having tight schedules in college. Though for the next term I’ll be taking less subjects and I really wanted to make up for what was lost. I’m also in my third year and there’s still the uncertainty if I can still get what I want when it’s all over. What more when I do get a proper job… I should stop overthinking. So, I’ll be writing an open letter to myself in the present, and to myself in the future.
Here goes nothing.
How are you? Are you satisfied with what you have? What about your needs? Have you got it all covered? If you can answer any of these questions, then you are still standing on your own two feet.
You made a lot of decisions, good and bad. This affected to those around you. Some of them are in the heat of the moment and some are made beforehand. Do you even think of what you did? I’m sure you might have or might have not. You should think carefully of what people would bestow upon you. An opportunity was given to you and yet you blew it. Would it come again? Maybe, or worse, never. Communication is the most basic tool in today’s world. There are many forms and it doesn’t limit to just words. If you have something to say to a certain person then say it at once. Don’t let your own fear block your one and only possible chance because it might not come back.
Also, try reaching out more often. You cannot stay in your own shell forever. You’ve endured a couple of years on your own but have you ever thought of talking to someone? It can truly help you in the long run. Make new friends, both online and in real life. Who knows what one would bring.
Speaking of friends, what about those you’ve hurt? Have you apologized? If the person doesn’t want it, then don’t add salt to the wound. The damage has been done, some may not ask for it because of your own actions. But sometimes you need to say you’re sorry. You made that decision. That’s one thing you need to change first.
That’s right – you.
You are the one who made this mess or got dragged into it. One way or another, you are held accountable for what you did, big or small. But don’t overwork it. It’s better to do it step by step. Take a rest when you need it. And most importantly, practice self-care.
Without being aware of who you are, you will not communicate properly. Someone already pointed out to you and it made disastrous results because you didn’t make the decision. You made someone disappointed in you. But, there’s still time left. This time, however, you need to weigh in the possible outcomes. Take note of those who will get the short end of the stick. Who knows when another complicated situation comes up right at your fingertips.
The first step is to accept your own flaws. There’s no shortcuts. All other steps depends on you. Moving on is a strong declaration. Once everything is lined up, it will be for the better. You get to make the last call.
If you are finally ready, take the initiative.